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Bibit, Bebet, Bobot, Considerations to Choose Daughter or Son-in-law



Bibit Bebet Bobot

In choosing son-in-law candidates Javanese people usually have certain perspectives, considerations and criteria that are often called Bibit, Bebet, Bobot. It is done for the best in preparing his son in wading travel life household and inherit.

For Javanese people, a harmonious pair in a household will not instantly come. Harmony can be created and formed using various ways; one of them is by choosing the right spouse. Bibit, Bebet, Bobot become one way to filter various bad possibilities in choosing candidate daughter-in-law or son-in-law. There are many choices in this world, every person have the right to choose and determine his life, including in choosing family member candidate.

The word bibit in Javanese language can be interpreted as seeds or origins of offspring. In choosing daughter or son-in-law candidate, parents usually will look at the family background of the person they choose, who are the parents, what is his profession, and how he behaves in the society. Undeniably, the parents will feel more pride if their child can be married to someone of good, respectable, and “important” family on the area. Despite not being the absolute measure it is still done by many parents up until today.

The word bebet can be interpreted as someone’s economic status. This status becomes one of the considerations for parents because in the life of a household, economy becomes the basic needs of human. With an established economic status usually the children who are married will be happy and their parents can be at peace.

The term bobot literally means “weight ” and can be interpreted as the high and low of someone’s quality. Quality here is related tightly with the physical and psychological quality of someone to become the life companion of their sons and daughters. With these criteria, usually parents will look at the physical quality of someone (Jangkeping Warni), quality of faith and good heart (Rahayu ing Mana), polite and well mannered in beahvior (understand krama system) and having life proficiency (wasis).

Determining a choice based on bibit, bebet, bobot of an individual is indeed not an easy matter. If a child is already “drunk in love” towards his/her partner, usually those measures will no longer exist. Then it is not any wonder if due to those considerations there are often conflicts between the child and the parents caused by difference in their perspective towards marriage. However, these consideration are taken by the parents under the intention that the children who are getting married will be able to live a happy and prosperous life for being able to deal with various life problems in the household.

// of various sources




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